haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
