I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
