It's just like the Real World with babies
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Send help, water and tortillas.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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