My pussy is not your playground.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
