No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
