The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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