Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
