i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
