i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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