My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
