Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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