Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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