Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
