ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
