First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
