You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
