You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
