I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
