I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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