tell your sister to shave her snatch
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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