You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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