Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
