i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I love you. Go after that dick
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
