Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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