You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
