Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
