what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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