you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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