Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
