the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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