I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
