exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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