drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He kissed a someone with a penis
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
