i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
