Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
