I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
