At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
