Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
