One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
