Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
