I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
