my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
