Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
