it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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