So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
