white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
