Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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