I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
