Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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