what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
