Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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